This Weekend is the Red River Shootout! Get them Horns Up!!!

This Saturday is the Red River Shootout (also known as the Red River Rivalry for you young 'uns.).

For those of y'all that don't know, that means that the undefeated University of Texas Longhorns will face bitter (and stanky) rival, OU at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas, Texas.

It is an old rivalry dating all the way back to 1900, when Oklahoma was still just a territory.

Overall, Texas leads the series. Mostly because we're awesome like that, and partly because of our enormous testicles.

It's true.

Anywho, this year's meeting could very well decide who goes to the National Championship. Right now OU is ranked #1 and Texas is #5. If Texas defeats OU they will certainly rise in the rankings and provided they win out could go all the way to the National Championship.

For the next few days until the big game, I'm posting fun facts about the University and some cool media I think you'll enjoy that will get everybody in the UT spirit.

Today, we're focusing on LHB, otherwise known as the Longhorn Band.

They're those devastatingly handsome fellows and sexy ladies, you always see at the games, dressed to the nines in their Sunday best fringe and pure, white Stetsons. Rowr!!

Cut me off a piece of that!!!!

Anywho, they're a big part of what makes Texas football so exciting and they've been out there doing their thing since 1900.

They are an old, venerable (but still sexy!) institution with many proud traditions.

One of the most poignant traditions is that of The President's Ring.

LHB is also in possession of the world's largest marching drum, Big Bertha, which is awesome.

LHB has never failed to put me in the Texas Football spirit, so to put you, gentle reader, into the spirit I've got some super inspiring music from the Showband of the Southwest themselves.

So, without further ado...

Ladies and Gentlemen, The University of Texas Longhorn Band!!!!
(open media links in new window)

Texas Fight
Texas Fight, Texas Fight,
And it's goodbye to A&M.
Texas Fight, Texas Fight,
And we'll put over one more win.
Texas Fight, Texas Fight,
For it's Texas that we love best.
Hail, Hail, The gang's all here,
And it's good-bye to all the rest!

(YELL)
Yea Orange! Yea White!
Yea Longhorns! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Texas Fight! Texas Fight,
Yea Texas Fight!
Texas Fight! Texas Fight,
Yea Texas Fight!

The Eyes of Texas are upon you,
All the livelong day.
The Eyes of Texas are upon you,
You cannot get away.
Texas Fight, Texas Fight,
For it's Texas that we love best.
Hail, Hail, The gang's all here,
And it good-bye to all the rest!

Note: The line, "Hail, Hail, the gang's all here" is usually replaced with "Give 'em hell, Give 'em hell, Go Horns Go!"

The Yellow Rose of Texas

March Grandioso

T-E-X-A-S is spelled out along with the music at the hits.

Wabash Cannonball
Darrell K. Royal's favorite tune. You know you love it too. I know I do! It's sassy!!!

Yeah, try not to dance. It's impossible!

And finally....

The Eyes of Texas
Our school song.

The eyes of Texas are upon you,
All the live long day.
The eyes of Texas are upon you,
You cannot get away.
Do not think you can escape them,
At night, or early in the morn.
The eyes of Texas are upon you,
'Till Gabriel blows his horn!

Here's some more great Longhorn Band sounds.

And here's some great info on some of our beloved traditional songs.

Hook 'Em Horns!! Beat the Hell Outta OU!!

Radiation Update Day Seven!!!

Well kiddies, it's day seven of my radioactivity and I'm sorry to say, I've seen absolutely no signs that I have developed god-like super powers of any kind.

I know, I'm sad too.

One thing I did develop though was a horrific cold/flu thing!!

Yay!!!

Oh, wait, no. It sucked donkey dong. Never mind, no yay for that. In fact, fuck that. It really sucked.

Anyway, on this past Friday, I started feeling achy, and developed a runny nose. Part of me hoped it was burgeoning superpowers, you know like in "Spider-Man," where Petey gets all sickly and passes out after he gets bit by the spider?

Well, it wasn't superpowers, it was just the flu or something and by Saturday, I was sick as a dog.

I ended up spending the majority of the day asleep or completely miserable, or both. Then proceeded to sleep for 14 straight hours on Sunday.

I'm still trying to take it easy, but am feeling much better today.

So, thanks for asking!

Tomorrow, I get to go to the endocrinologist's and find out how my thyroid is doing.

Then I get to come home and launder all my radioactive shit, throw away my toothbrush, clean up the mess that accumulated during my convalescence and time permitting, go look for Halloween costumes!!!

Whoo-hoo! Wish me luck!

Congrats to UT on their 38-14 Win Over Colorado!!!

Hook 'Em Horns!! Well done on your 38-14 win over the Colorado Buffs. Tighten up that O-line and give Colt and the running game a bit more time though would you?

Oh, and props to Colt on his super impressive self awareness on that connection with Ogbonnaya for what ended up being a 65 yard touchdown. Great job! Gotta say that Ogbannaya really shined at this past game.

The Horns did a great job against a hostile crowd and came away with another impressive win.

Believe me, the Colorado crowd is not nice.

Anyway, Hook 'Em Horns!

Best of luck this week as you prepare for the Red River Shootout this weekend in Dallas.

Super Power Update....

It's day two of my radioactivity, and as of yet there has been no sign that I have manifested superpowers.

Unless of course, you count the massive amount of peeing I've been doing lately. Although, me thinks that due more to the fact that I've been drinking a fuckton of liquids to help flush my system.

Also, I don't really see how useful peeing all the time is as a superpower.

Oh well.

I'm Radioactive Mother Fuckers!!!!

Hey kids and kidettes! Guess what? Well, as you might have guessed from my super subtle title, my ass is totally radioactive right now.

What's that? How you ask?

Well, it's actually rather simple. You see I have a disease called Graves disease. It's an autoimmune disease that can wreak all kinds of havoc on your body. One of the many fun side effects of Graves disease is hyperthyroidism. Which means my thyroid is a super over achiever and makes a fuckton more thyroid hormone than I need.

Unfortunately, that can cause all kinds of problems for yours truly. Such as accelerated heart rate, tremors (especially of the hands. It sucks trust me), mania, depression, racing thoughts, an inability to concentrate and weight loss.

Over time it can even cause permanent damage to your heart. The point is kiddies, that it sucks.

A lot.

So, I am getting treatment. The anti-thyroid drugs I was taking didn't work. Boo. So now I'm undergoing radioactive iodine treatment.

The goal is to use a very small amount of radioactive iodine to disable my thyroid to the point where it is only producing the amount of thyroid hormone that I need. Thus, ridding me of these foul symptoms that have been a thorn in my side for far too long! Also, maybe it will cure me of my tendency to randomly channel Dr. Doom. Curse you Richards!!!!

Oops, sorry.

Anyway, the side affect to ingesting radioactive shit, is that I am very slightly radioactive, and am in a sort of mini quarantine. Nothing serious, I just can't be too close to people for a few days. Also, no swapping spit (bummer) or urinating into people's mouths anymore (also bummer)
so that kinda sucks.

Anysploo, I'm gonna find a spider, trap it in a jar over my hand and piss it the fuck off until it bites me. Then, it's superhero city baby!! Whoohoo!

So, if in a few days you hear about some superhot lady crawling all over buildings and foiling criminals...actually I don't know what to tell you about that.

However, if in a few days you hear about a mildly attractive lady, crawling all over buildings in an extremely poorly made costume, foiling criminals, then don't worry. It's just your friendly neighborhood Spider-Woman.

(Namely, me)

I wonder how long it takes to have those little cards printed up....